Towards inter-dimensional travel

Today I took my laundry from the washing machine, and discovered a bright blue sock between my undies. All my socks are black, grey, or brown. My daughter’s socks are black, grey, or purple. Nobody else’s laundry ends up in my laundry basket. So where did that sock come from?

My sock drawer contains at least a dozen single socks; socks which, at one time, were part of a pair, of which the partner is no longer to be found. A few of these I threw out myself, because they had holes in them. But at least two-thirds of them just disappeared. My daughter’s sock drawer suffers from a similar phenomenon. And I asked a few friends, and they find themselves in the same situation. It looks like half the world experiences the mystery of disappearing socks.

But these socks cannot dissolve in the washing machine, can they? I mean, if socks could dissolve, then both halves of a pair should disappear. And still, whenever I do the laundry, I throw pairs of socks in, while occasionally singular socks march out. Until recently I assumed that these missing socks were caught somewhere in the inner workings of the washing machine, and I did not spend much thought on them (which I probably should, because that can’t be good for the machine). But with the appearance of the blue mystery sock, I have formulated a new theory.

Certainly, I have encountered socks in my laundry before, which I did not recognize. Single socks which I could not remember buying. But they were always black or grey, so I could have bought and forgotten them. But I never purchased a bright blue pair of socks, and neither did my daughter. From this I conclude that not only socks disappear in the washing machine: they materialize too!

Clearly, my washing machine, like many other washing machines in the world, contains an inter-dimensional portal which sucks up socks and deposits them somewhere else. And where does it deposit them? In another washing machine, of course! These portals connect washing machines to each other!

The potential benefits of this discovery are enormous! These washing machines could form the basis for a transporter system, much like the one used on Star Trek! Maybe they could even be the foundation for a new form of space travel! At the very least, they could become a modern communication and delivery system!

Still, that is in the future. First we need to answer many important questions. For instance, is each washing machine connected to one other machine, or are all machines connected together? If all are connected, can the target machine be selected? What is the speed of transportation? Is it possible to select one sock to send through the portal, or is it a random process? Can only socks be sent out, or other objects too?

I propose we will do a bit of research. From now on, in every sock that I put in the washing machine, I will place a message, written with permanent ink on a piece of plastic. That message will contain my email address, and the exact date and time that I put the sock in the washing machine. Should any reader of this blog discover one of my socks with such a message in his or her machine, please send me an email as soon as possible.

And if anyone is missing a bright blue sock, please send me an email too. If the one you still have matches the one I discovered, we could speed up the investigation enormously.

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2 Responses to Towards inter-dimensional travel

  1. Marcus says:

    You might end up with a theological research for and of the Eater of Socks, which is described at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_gods – you have been warned.

  2. pspronck says:

    Since more socks seem to disappear than materialize, I would not be surprised if the Eater-of-Socks is somehow involved in this whole debacle. However, he only consumes without regurgitation, so his presence cannot explain the blue sock turning up. I agree, though, that a clear demarcation between the two types of sock removal is required. Thank you for your alertness; I will take this matter into hand.

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